Character as Clothing

While flipping through channels in a motel room I stopped to watch Project Runway, though I admit that if others were in the room I would have kept flipping channels… A few years ago I had watched some episodes of Project Runway with a friend. My normal disclaimer was “it gives us something to do together and talk about” but honestly I was intrigued. It may sound weird coming from a guy who has clothes that are 10yrs old, who sews on patches and rarely goes shopping but I like fashion. There, I said it.

Why? What is it about fashion that I like? I am one of the first to mock the cyclical repetition of past trends and the eccentric, abstract side of high fashion, the irony of millions buying the same “unique” image, and humor of desiring beat-up, low quality clothing. Yet perhaps those extremes are just lazy ideas of what fashion is…I don’t know. Project Runway is a reality tv show on fashion design and I like that no matter how much the judges encourage bold, radical concepts they also want technical and concrete execution of those concepts to ground the clothing in reality, in something people would actually wear-something marketable. I think what draws me is the artistic side of making an idea come to fruition with the ultimate goal (I assume) to complement to wearer.

There is a balance between highlighting the person and the clothing. They must work together instead of compensating for each other-like when my sister said my good looks compensated for my old, tattered clothes- (I was just happy to find a compliment in that statement). With a person and the clothing, one might stand out before the other but together they draw you in. Aligning the two is not essential but doing so denote honor or shame (a joyful friend in rags becomes stylish compared to a well-dress jerk becomes disheveled). This is why we adorn those we honor and generally agree with the proverb “As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a beautiful woman with no discretion” (Proverbs 11:22). As character and clothing align, character must lead. But whichever one leads, following requires an investment and sacrifice (either for yourself or for others).

Thus, a good dresser in my view is one who has found a way to bring out their unique features subtly, almost creating an intrigue making others wonder “what is so attractive about them?” Like great art, you are left searching for the significance beyond the sensory, the meaning beyond the medium, pondering the beauty that is not immediately perceived. In this way I hope that good fashion guides us to see people as subjects, not objects, as dynamic instead of static, pulling us into relationship instead of away.

Perhaps the reason we are the only creature to blush is because we realize how our thoughts of a person and their thoughts towards us are an intrusion at worst (base attractions) and acknowledgement at best (compliment of value). In a real sense a blush hints towards an innate code to honor who that person is, to acknowledge something substantial and weighty. We want to know the person because we have glimpsed something glorious and in this sense character becomes the most authentic and durable clothing.

Character is worn daily with or without thought. Ideally integrity becomes your style for without it, you become a chameleon-rebelling against consistency, as if for survival. You adapt to others perceptions of beauty. Your goal to be noticed only makes you invisible for people are not seeing you, only what their ideal “you” would be. Instead what captivates me is someone who knows who they are; they have discovered what in their character is beautiful in and of itself-rooted in a classic style yet creatively expressed beyond it alluding to a universal sense of beauty. Their strengths are the first to be seen and their weaknesses are like accents-perhaps pointing to or outlining a striking feature yet content to stay in the background. The combination becomes their style, their “look” plus attitude… and like any character trait its expression organically responds to the seasons of life.

Each season brings a context to adapt to, each a challenge and opportunity. Did you have enough layers in your clothing, and in your character, to not only survive harsh winters but actually warm others around you? Did the summer heat surprise you? Was its warmth enough to entice you to bare some skin? The sun’s rays will bear witness of your “look’s”, and your character’s, ability to discern the proper limit in shedding those layers. In each season, and I suppose each day, our fashion and our character is revealed. And with both we may or may not feel equipped to face what lies ahead yet risk is the required seed for their expression.

…I like this metaphor. I suppose it reminds me of the freedom I am feeling to be known as I am. Yes I admit that in both character and clothing it is easier to be a chameleon, changing to match others’ perceptions of “what I should be.” It takes courage to express your character and be known by it, like discovering your style. In establishing any style it is hard to establish what pieces to build around: do I want to wear this shirt with this tie? What belt? Shoes? Wait…is this clean? Sometimes when I would help one of my sisters think through an entire outfit I’d realize at the end “This isn’t you, let’s start again” Likewise with my character: do I want to be funny right now? With who? Why? When should I ask how they are? Only to realize later “Ben, this isn’t you, honestly answer my question.”

I have shed my borrowed clothing, my chameleon’s skin and am moving into the foreground. I am growing confident in my character as others observe, compliment and encourage me, like friends confirming a new look. Though many say I am thoughtful, caring, and genuine there are others who notice that I am also humorous, joyful, and creative. I believe this is probably the difference between noticing the features and noticing the accents. Like any look, people sees its flaws as well: hyper-analytical, verbose, and nosy. A surprise picture and a spontaneous conversation can often reveal one’s day-to-day character and look, judging their integrity. The surprise picture for me would probably be in is my long sleeve green shirt, knit sweater, dark jeans, and brown shoes/ beige loafers. The look is comfortable, intentional, and distinguishable, combining my creative and rational (thrifty) characteristics. Most of my friends can name this exact outfit because it is my default. Yet the spontaneous conversation would not be so balanced. Odds are that I would go deeper in the conversation than desired. Good friends have noticed the imbalance at times and said I “am thoughtful, sometimes too thoughtful” as if to ask for another look but really wanting a different attitude/character-akin to asking Zoolander for something besides Blue Steel (yet in my case nowhere near as comical or adventurous). I am beginning to believe it is safe to bring out those accents, the eclectic quirks I assumed no one was intrigued by.

I have periodically stopped to smile and laugh at myself even writing this yet as I think of character as clothing I realize it is very human, simple yet profound. If style is character/attitude combined with clothing/”look” and culture is what we make of the world (ideas and stuff) than my style is a slice of culture, so much for being subtle…