Reconnecting

Though I lived in Seattle from age 6 to 18 and then for 10 months before going to London in 2008, I did not return having many friends in Seattle. I mentioned in my last post how the culture shock impacted that but there was also the necessity to find work, a place to live, and a community. Having fewer friends in some ways made it an easier transition. Rather than feeling the need to reconnect with tons of people and bare my soul, it was relieving to only be that intentional with a few people who had asked "how are you?" as opposed to the majority who only wanted the 5 minute answer to "how was London?". Yet I quickly became numb to the emotional stretching and tension of adjusting to a new home. When I did try to reconnect with people, to listen to their stories, to enter into where they were it came across as too intentional, too personal. I am thankful for those who did sit down, press questions into me and made me feel free to express the joys and struggles of that experience and also admit the present confusion, awkwardness and fears. My initial months back were filled with transitions, risks but most of all-blessings.

A family graciously opened up their home to me for almost two months. I was able to see my sister and brother in-law, supporting church and friends in mid Oct and started a part time job when I returned at CrossPoint Churches as their Pastoral Support Coordinator. My aunt died suddenly a few weeks later and I was able to see my dad's side of the family again during that grieving period but also have Thanksgiving with them for the first time I can remember. I returned from that trip to start a part time job with The Ballard Boys and Girls Club. A week later I was able to buy a used Honda Civic for a great deal after saving for years which helped me get around the city. One of my pastors connected me with a guy at church who wanted a housemate and by mid-Dec I was able to move into an amazing place with affordable rent. I was able to see old friends from high school, attend a wedding, settle into a new room, set up Xmas decor and cook my first turkey before leaving to see my family Christmas Day. My immediate family had not been together in 1.5 yrs and since we live in 5 different states, it was a joy to have a week to reconnect. My brother and I slept in the barn in the back and kept a fire going. We had a small Christmas, went on hikes, read, had wonderful meals and enjoyed sleeping in. It is amazing to realize that within three months of my return to the States, I had two part time jobs, housing, a new car, a new church and was able to see 40+ family members and friends-what a praise!

One of the first things I missed about London was actually the solitude, the time to myself to explore the city, to reflect on the week's activities, to zone out while cooking a meal. It was nice to walk around Seattle, to find a coffee shop and sit down and people watch, to observe language and body language and learn of my new community. I walked down 1st ave and looked through some used book stores and searched for a new map for our wall. I got to play a tourist in my hometown, which was more natural than I thought it would be. It was a huge gift to join some friends for the last regular season Sounders game and see the football craze that had swept in while I was away. It didn't compare to football matches in the UK but it still made me smile to find something here that was shared with where I had been.

One of the hardest things about reconnecting was the normalcy of life-the realization that people had not changed much while I was away and the expectation that I had not either. The desire to be understood, to find sympathy, to find acceptance was and is very strong. It was and is hard to schedule something as simple as dinner with friends. Now, even four month later, there are many people in Seattle I have not yet reconnected or connected with. Time is precious and one of the hardest things to share with, or sacrifice for, another and I feel blessed to have had time to see old friends, meet new people, and form new friendships as I settle in my home.